There I was. Standing outside the college gate. So many students in their respective uniform are going in. But why am I standing still?
Because of him.
I always knew I was different. Different from other boys, different from my friends. Who always keep dreaming of marrying a woman as beautiful as Angelina Jolie or Deepika Padukone. But me? I always dreamt of Chris Evans. Chris Hemsworth. It’s not my fault that they are hot. You can’t blame me for having a teenage crush on them.
I chose this particular college because all my homophobic friends from school are not here.
Today is actually my first day of college. Even though I knew that the students here could be homophobic but at least they don’t know my sexuality and won’t probably bully me.
I had set an alarm to get up early today. But before the alarm could ruin my sleep, my mom did.
“Get up”, She said, “it’s 7 already”
I went to bed at around 3 am last night after finishing the movie “Call Me By Your Name”.
The movie makes me sad and I often end up crying but I can not stop watching it.
I was still sleepy when my mom woke me up. I was so excited to go to college and experience a new life but I was too lazy to get up from bed.
She turned off the fan so I don’t have any choice but to get up. I freshened up and sat for breakfast.
My dad, as usual was reading the morning newspaper while my little brother was running around the house.
“Excited for first day of college?” My dad had asked me.
I didn’t tell my parents about what my friends had done to me when they found gay porn on my phone at school. I went to washroom during lunch break and I had left my phone with Riyad, who happened to know the password. Little did I know that he would check the video files.
They all had grabbed me and didn’t let me escape. They had their fun by burning my thighs with cigarette. The scar is still there.
I couldn’t tell anyone about that because then everyone would have found out that I was gay. Which I didn’t want.
After the breakfast, I went straight to my room. I put on my uniform and I must say that the white shirt, blue pants and red tie uniform really suits me. I looked at myself on the mirror and smiled a little.
“Want me to drop you off?” My dad offered.
“It’s only ten minutes away. I think I can go alone”
Walking isn’t my thing so I took an auto and arrived exactly at 8:30 am.
I paid the man and looked at the college gate.
“WELCOME! NEW STUDENTS OF 2019” was written in big bold letters on top it.
I took one step and I froze.